Sex education is among the hot-button issues across the U.S. in recent years. Pertinent subjects like abortion and LGBTQIA+ identities are increasingly politicized, and 16 states across the country provide abstinence-only courses. Even for those who’ve received comprehensive sex education, the topic can still make some squeamish. Denver’s Sexploratorium, which opened in August 2023, provides adults in the community a place to talk about sex where nothing is taboo or uncomfortable.
The space at 1800 South Broadway is both a queer and female-owned center for adult sex education, providing accurate information about sexuality through an approach guaranteed to be less awkward than your eighth-grade sex education course.
“We don’t really get information about sex past childhood and most of the time we’re not even getting that. So, our goal was really to provide a place for sex education for everyone,” said co-founder Fawn O’Breitzman.
Human sexuality professors Fawn and her colleague Stina French, along with Fawn’s spouse of 24 years Casey O’Breitzman founded Sexploratorium to fill an important gap in this knowledge. They had the simple goal of creating a space where people could get to know their bodies and ask questions to ultimately make sex a more enjoyable experience.
“There are play spaces, there are kink spaces, but there aren’t places where you just really get to learn what makes up the vulva, or how to deal with the shame that you might’ve experienced from, maybe religious trauma when it comes to sex. So, we wanted to make it. It’s socialism for sex ed,” Fawn said.
Currently, only 29 states and the District of Columbia require any form of sex education. Colorado does not mandate the course, but schools that do must teach comprehensive and medically accurate information. Sex education in many circumstances is limited and often prioritizes heterosexual and cisgender sexual relationships and bodies. Sexploratorium acknowledges the missing pieces for those who identify with varying sexual and gender identities, providing diverse and inclusive conversations around sex.
“We strive to be incredibly inclusive. Both with our language and what we’re teaching and how we’re teaching it so that we’re not just talking about male and female anatomy. That’s a [term] we wouldn’t really use,” Fawn said. “We talk about penises and vulvas, but anybody can have those. We’re very inclusive in terms of intersex and in terms of sexual orientations, so it’s not really coming from that heterosexual background.”
Sexual exploration and experiences can feel rather isolating and intimidating to figure out alone. That’s one of the reasons Sexploratorium incorporates activities, visuals and experiences to provide individuals with the space to potentially practice or observe skills in a safe, consensual space. The facility hosts a variety of classes and events covering everything from self-defense and “fitness for fooling around” to coping with sexual anxiety and erotic touch. One topic covered by the professionals at Sexploratorium is how to improve one’s kissing skills. Fawn joked she thought of kissing as a fingerprint—a get-what-you-get situation.
“I have dumped people for bad kissing!” Fawn said. “I didn’t know you could help somebody kiss in a different way, and that was another one of those lightbulb moments, of like, what are we really teaching people here? Are we teaching people things that they actually need to know in academia? I feel like we’re closer with this—teaching things that people really need to know.”
In many cases, a lack of diverse and inclusive resources has left individuals without answers to their questions about sexuality and gender and lacking basic intimacy abilities. The curriculum in schools—even when comprehensive and medically accurate—often glosses over genital anatomy and erogenous zones that bring a partner or oneself pleasure.
“I didn’t learn about the clitoris till I was in college! I went back to my mother and I was kind of pissed! Like, why was this not included?” Fawn said. “We’re missing this big part of sex-ed, where we’re realizing, ‘Yeah, there is pleasure involved.’ I wanted to put that at the forefront.”
French said exploring that pleasure is an act of revolution when individuals are empowered. Much of society has taught us that sexuality is something to be ignored and repressed, she said, but it is a major part of being human.
“We have been separated from our bodies, we have been separated from our pleasure,” French said. ”To rejoin them is a radical act because then other things follow. You stop accepting less than you deserve in that realm and then all of a sudden you are trying to create a revolution.”
The discussion of sex can be liberating when presented in a safe, inclusive and welcoming context. Shame can arise from myriad sources including religion, media, porn, family and peers. It can also come from first-hand experience, as sex education classes often don’t cover all the “weird, awkward and uncomfortable” things a body can do while engaging in sexual activity. Many don’t find out until later in life that things like vaginal dryness, untimely orgasms and funky noises or smells are all a part of the process.
“My favorite experience here is watching shame lift off a person because you can watch the moment it leaves and it’s a beautiful thing to see,” French said.
Currently, Sexploratorium has one classroom that doubles as an event and art gallery space. But in the future, they hope to follow their original plan and transform the area into a one-room sex museum that covers all aspects including anatomy, birth control, the kink community, LGBTQIA+, pornography, prostitution and important historical figures.
“Our ultimate goal is actually to do, a ‘Meow Wolf of Sex,’ where you could go into a vagina, it would be a 3D experience. You would go into the ‘Womb Room,’ you would hear the mother’s voice or the parent’s voice. It would be a very interactive, hands-on kind of thing,” Fawn said.
Sexploratorium is creating a community for talking about sex education. As French said, “Sharing stories is where it’s at.” Whether peer-to-peer, through lectures, or interactive activities, Sexploratorium is advocating a new approach to sex education for the future and the Denver community.